Hit Me With Your Best Shot... Fire Away

Because I'm a pretty awesome girlfriend, I got TYM a day at the West Side Pistol Range for Valentine's Day. Schedules being what they are, we couldn't make it right away, but we finally got to go yesterday. It was an absolute blast.

The way it works is, if you're a beginner, they lump you into a group with other beginners, give you a short classroom lecture, make you sign forms saying "I understand that I might die today and my family can't sue" and "I have never been arrested for stalking or threatening an intimate partner (but celebrities are okay)," and then set you loose on the range. Our group consisted of three couples and one lone guy who probably had neither expected nor wanted to be in a group with three couples. Lone Guy made the best of it, though.

When we started shooting, I immediately had two problems: my gun kept jamming up and I really, really sucked at shooting. TYM was immediately awesome, despite the fact that he hadn't fired a gun since he was a kid, at summer camp. I went to Christian summer camp as a kid. TYM went to ninja summer camp, apparently.

Shortly thereafter, I got a new gun and TYM advised me to close the other eye when lining up my shots, which improved my shooting immensely. I took my best target home to hang it up in my office to remind myself and everyone else that I'm a badass. Don't believe that I'm a badass? Check this out:



Bad. Ass. Well, not totally. (And side note -- time to freshen up that haircolor, eh?) At one point, Lone Guy and TYM swapped out their bullseye targets for ones depicting humans, and I just couldn't do it. That either makes me a pussy, or them potential serial killers -- I'm not sure.

Also, My classmate Marina was very upset when I told her about my Sunday plans, so naturally I sent her a pic of me smiling, gun in hand. She wrote back, "Oh God! What's next? Abortion clinic bombings and a vote for McCain?" Heee.

Overheard on the Upper West Side

After a two-hour drunken brunch where conversation consisted primarily of engagements, weddings and having babies.

Me: You know, we were having very different conversations at Drunk Brunch two years ago.

Summer: I know.

Sharona: Hm... should we talk about anal instead?

Jess and Summer: Yes please!

Random Thoughts

My landlords are in Florida right now. I was told the mother of my landlady would be coming by daily to feed the cat. She's been vacuuming for two hours now. I'm guessing that probably wasn't what they had in mind.

To address the whole being laid off situation, because I had many comments about it... The company I worked for was actually great, I just didn't care for how the whole thing went down. I mean, I left there at one point for a job that turned out to be soul-destroying, and three months later, they took me back like an astrological prodigal daughter. Plus I got severence and crap. Plus, I've been SO overwhelemed with everything that it was a blessing in disguise. And people keep throwing freelance gigs at me, too, and I've wanted to try the whole freelancer thing for years but I've been a bit of a scaredy cat about it. So it's aaaaaall good, little peanuts. I do wish I'd sent in that resume to be the Senior Editor of foodandwine.com a few months back, though. Sort of.

Last night, I went over to Curly's to drink wine, and eat fish and chips, and we decided to abandon the screenplay we haven't been working on for one that is super weird and dark and just like us, and I can't wait until we start writing it, which we'll do once Idol is over, because that's very taxing. Also, on my way over there I turned a corner and crack! Something really wrong happened in my knee and I was doubled over in pain. I skipped class today because I was worried about what eight hours of running around a kitchen when I don't have health insurance yet would do to it. I watched The Former Roommate go through knee surgery hell, and that was kicked off by bowling of all things.

I'm skipping my birthday this year, as I'll be in final exam/final project hell, but I think TYM and I are going to take our jetsetting selves on a trip the first weekend in May, when I will officially be a chef! Any ideas? My parameters are within the United States and not too pricy. Also, we like nature and outdoorsy activities. And good food. He's in the Dominican Republic for work right now. I'm jealous.

I feel like I need one more item to make it an even five... hm. Oh yeah, I got an email from a publisher asking if I'd be interested in writing a book. Holy shit, right? I'm holding off on stressing out about whether or not I want to do it until I actually talk to the woman who emailed me. Well, that's a lie. I'm trying to hold off on stressing, and failing miserably.

That's all I got for now. Back next week.

Where Entertainment and Politics Meet

Me: Great show recap on American Midol.

Curly: Thank you, but not my best. None of the contestants are sparking a real fire in me.

Me: I love that we both wanted to hate David Cook, but ended up loving it.

Curly: I know! and I KNEW you were thinking the same thing when the song got, you know, good. I was like, "FUCK!"

Me: Me too. Exactly.

Curly: It was sort of how I felt when I realized the troop surge was actually working.