Case Closed

Because I’m a 14-year old girl trapped in an adult woman’s body, I’ve been itching to see The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2. You see, back in the days when I worked at iVillain iVillage, sometimes books would find their way to my desk from publicists and the like, and the first installment of Pants just so happened to walk over one day. Not immediately realizing it was a Young Adult title, I dug in, and by the time I realized I wasn’t part of the book’s target demographic, I no longer cared. I loved it, and I was all over the original movie when it came out.

Now, I’m about to reveal a spoiler, so if you’re dying to see this movie and don’t want it ruined, you might want to stop right here.

Effie, Lena’s younger sister, is kind of a beaver. After her failed attempt to steal Tibby’s boyfriend was thwarted, she decided to exact her vengeance on the Sisterhood by stealing The Pants that brought them miracles and cemented her friendship. In case you haven’t figured it out, The Pants are a Very Big Deal. So Effie takes them to Greece, and loses them, or so she claims. And because these girls all live in a fictional land where teenagers can just hop on planes on a whim, Tibby, Lena, Carmen and Bridget go to Greece to find The Pants.

The Pants? Gone forever. (Unless Effie has them hidden away somewhere and I bet she does because she’s a total bitch) But see, what the girls realized is that they don’t NEED The Pants--all they need is each other. All together now--awww.

I wouldn’t say that Curly, Betony and I set out on a quest to find The Pants, per se. But as we rode to our respective homes on the F-train, The Pants found us, much like they found the Sisterhood. Behold:

Exhibit A
The Pants, last seen on a site selling props from the movie.



Exhibit B
The Pants, riding the F-train.



Curly, Betony and I have ensured that there will, in fact, be a Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 3. You're welcome. And uh, random lady on the F-train, sorry we uh, beat you up and stole your pants.

Regarding Breakfast, and a Popular MTV Show from the Olden Days

Background info: Prior to this exchange, I uttered the following statements: "Joe Lieberman can suck it", "I want to marry Doritos" and "Fuck Gouda."

Me: Kyle wants to have breakfast Sunday AM. You in?

Curly: Mmm, breakfast.

Me: TYM and I already started discussing breakfast options for Sunday.

Curly: You guys like to plan ahead, huh?

Me: Only when it comes to breakfast. Is is the most important meal of the day, after all. And the most delicious.

Curly: If I know I'm going out for breakfast, I sometimes start deciding the night before if I want something sweet or savory.

Curly: I usually know going in if it will be pancakes or an omelette. I rarely make that call tableside.

Me: Ha! Breakfast rules.

Me: Did you notice I'm kind of like Beavis today?

Curly: You're kind of like Beavis every day. At this point, it's like my parents' accents -- I don't even notice it, really.

Puerto Rico Pics

Here.

Odds, Ends

So, yeah. I’m back. I have more mosquito bites than I thought was possible for one body, and random parts of me are burnt to a crisp. I thought TYM and I would never have a vacation more fun than our trip to Belize, but we did it in Puerto Rico! I’ll have photos up on Flickr this week, with accompanying stories. (TYM: Why are you taking a picture of the GPS? Me: I’m building a narrative!)

One thing I couldn’t get a pic of, sadly, was our Biobay tour. We took a nighttime kayak trip to Mosquito Bay (hence the bites), home to bazillions of dinoflagellates that give off bioluminescent light when it’s dark. Our guide told us to leave the cameras behind, as they’d get wet, and it’s a good thing I listened, because I tipped my kayak while getting out of it to swim.

Swimming in the bay at night was amazing. If you’ve seen Hellboy (or Hellboy 2), moving around in the water looked like Liz does when she gets all firestartery. It didn’t take long before TYM and I were making all sorts of pow-swoosh-bam superhero noises while we moved around. When we lifted an arm or head out of the water, the little organisms settled into crevices and hair like glitter. Before going, I thought all of the photos I’d seen were fake, but they’re totally not. It was the most amazing thing I’ve ever done, and if you ever go to Puerto Rico, you must do it.

I texted Azee this morning and asked her if she wanted to hang tomorrow night. She responded with, “I have someone picking up antlers at 7:30 but no plans after that.” My friends are weird. And awesome.

I had a dream last night that TYM and I were on vacation somewhere and Bill Maher was staying in our hotel. He totally hit on me at one point when TYM wasn’t around, and when I told him what had happened, he didn’t believe me, because “Bill Maher doesn’t like white ladies.” Except for Ann Coulter, of course.

Last night, I attended BUST Magazine’s 15-year anniversary bash with two tall ladies who make me feel like a midget. See?


It was fun—JD Samson from Le Tigre was the DJ, and there was dancing and some kickass goodie bags with graphic novels, coloring books, tools, CDs and free vibrators. Plus, vegan cupcakes from Babycakes and performances from the Lady Circus. Unfortunately, we had to leave before seeing my imaginary best friend Amy Sedaris because I was about to pass out from not sleeping two nights in a row. It’s probably for the best—if I met her, I think my latching onto her leg until she promised to hang out with me and get BFF necklaces would result in a restraining order.

Can you believe I still don’t know who won So You Think You Can Dance? Don’t spoil it for me—I’m watching it tonight.

And… She’s Off!

Well, kiddies, I’m off to Puerto Rico, where I’ll be sightseeing, eating, gambling, drinking rum, hiking, kayaking, snorkeling, and breaking in the sassy new bathing suit I procured from a large wooden table in the 9th floor conference room at work. I’ll be back next week with pictures, and hopefully, a tan, but maybe not, because my Water Babies is SPF 50. What? I’m pale. And I have sensitive skin. Hasta Luego, bitches.

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