The Right Stuff

It's not that I don't have anything to blog about, per se.

I mean, just last night I was sitting on my porch in Brooklyn, and the largest raccoon I have ever seen in my life lumbered past me.

And we also have a vandal tagging the neighborhood. He goes by the name "Vegeta," which Google tells me is a Dragonball-Z character. So, not only is Vegeta a menace, he's also a dork.

And today, I went to an insane press event, where I was served a seven course French meal with eight different glasses of wine, plus two cocktails. And the goodie bags included two more bottles of wine, champagne and enough chocolate to get me through my PMS for the next six months. And Josey was there! And at my table! She had to leave early to go to the dentist, though, and she missed dessert. So I'll just pretend it was nothing to write home about.

And last weekend, my friend Summer and I had a slumber party, and I made us the best dinner I've ever made in my life: pan-seared, panko-and-sesame-crusted tuna with coconut rice and a salad with stuff from the farmer's market and a honey-ginger dressing I whipped up. I wish I'd taken a picture of it. And also, I wish tuna didn't have so much mercury in it.

So, you see, it's not that nothing is going on. It's just that, I can't say no to freelance work, ever, even when I should, and I'm so completely overwhelmed with it right now that I can't even think straight. But I'm hoping to get everything under control this weekend, and next week I start my private chef gig, which will hopefully result in hilarity, like me cutting off my finger and accidentally serving it. It could happen. Well, not to anyone, but to me, definitely.

Happy days

Today I:

-Found a dollar on the street on the way home from TYM's in the morning.

-Accepted an offer for a temporary personal chef gig.

-Regarding a freelance web job, was told that they'd work around my personal cheffing schedule because they'd rather work with me than anybody else.

-Received a check in the mail for another freelance job without having to shake anyone down for it, just in time to pay my taxes. Okay, my taxes are technically late, but only by two days.

Summer may be drawing a close, but apparently the sun has decided to shine out of my ass for this particular moment in time. It almost makes up for the fact that I barely got to the beach all season. Almost.

Regarding NY1

Apologies to my readers who live outside NYC

Curly: I think NY1 thinks I live in Queens. Unless everyone is subject to special Queens news segments. I get them regularly now. I don't give a shit what goes on in Queens.

Me: NY1 has a huge boner for Queens.

Curly: Hands down, that's the funniest sentence I'm going to encounter all day. Well done.

Me: Sweet.

Curly: I feel like NY1 is on a quest to alienate me. First with the relentless Uncle Junior promos and now this. Next up, they'll increase Shelly Goldberg's segments. She'll anchor the news.

Me: I just shuddered at the thought.

Curly: I wonder if other cities' local news stations elicit such a response from residents. We're pretty hardcore about NY1 personalities. A mere mention of the channel and people will rattle off whom they love and loathe.

Me: Like Debbie Duhaime. God, I hate her.

Curly: I have no opinion of her but whenever she's on, I think "If Jess is watching right now, she's fuming." And I'm mindful not to abbreviate major roadways in your presence, like the Hutch. Or the Belt.

Me: The Hutch is okay, actually. When I lived in Westchester, I called it that.

Curly: Oh, it's the George that sends you into a rage, yes?

Me: Yes. And the Jackie.

Curly: She probably says Avenue of the Americas too.

Me: SHE TOTALLY DOES.

Wii-eeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

TYM and I did lots of fun things this weekend, involving beaches, Bill Maher and pulled pork, to name a few. We also spent a ridiculous amount of time trying to procure a Wii, which proved harder than either of us thought it would be. Brooklyn was fresh out of Wiis, but we lucked out late Sunday night at the Virgin Megastore at Union Square.

I don't think I've mentioned this before, but TYM is moving in with me in a couple of months. Because we both know how to prioritize, we've started purchasing things we really need in order to make the transition seamless, like a chaise lounge that we have no place for and now, a Wii.

I haven't ever really owned a game system before, unless my Commodore 64 with the Olympic Games series counts, and I don't think it does. I am so into the Wii, to the point where my entire upper body is sore after only two days. I have a list of games I want to get, including House of the Dead and that one with the psychotic bunnies that kill people. Right now, we just have Wii Sports. I kick so much ass--both figuratively and literally--at boxing. I'm much better at Wii bowling than I am at regular bowling. I'm an awesome baseball pitcher and a terrible batter. Tennis is exhausting, but fun. And I firmly agree with what Lizz said yesterday (not on her blog but in real life), that Wii golf is just as tedious as real golf. Also, I suck at it.

If I get this chef job I'm up for, I'm going to splurge on Wii Fit. I'm also going to get half of my left arm tattooed, but that's another post. So wish me luck--because it might be the only fitness program I can actually stick with.