All the News That's Fit to Pinch

I know you've been foaming at the mouth and battling the shakes for your next "Idol" news fix so suffer no longer, my fellow fiends. Here's the latest:

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes! Twists and turns are afoot! According to an executive producer of our beloved program, we can look forward to "a big-event show, sometime in the middle of the season, something that will blow America away." Hmm... Anyone want to take a stab at what the surprise could possibly be? My guess is that Randy ventures beyond his usual five-word vocabulary. (MSNBC)

Fear not, all you non-techie types and poor slobs prone to the occasional TiVo/DVR programming mishap! Episodes of the Season 6 will be available online immediately after the broadcast. That's a huge relief for me because I'm going to have a dickens of a time explaining the tantrum-induced crack in my cable box to my cable provider. It didn't record a results show last season and well, it had to pay. But between you, me and the lamppost, I'm telling them that's the condition it arrived in. You dig? (The Daily Reel)

In other news, "Idol" producers have finally figured out what we've known all along -- the song selections for finalists suck copious amounts of ass. So, in an effort to find something a little less shitty for the top two to warble, producers are reportedly adding a songwriting contest this season. Oh good! Now we'll have a name and face to put with the usual scorn and insults. Potential applicants: Make sure your contact info is not a matter of public record because we WILL track you down and ridicule you mercilessly, if need be. (Reality TV World)

Have you just been dying to know what John Stevens, the carrot-topped crooner from Season 3 has been up to these days? Yeah, me neither. But you can get yourself up to speed on the likes of Frenchie Davis, Kimberly Caldwell, Jim Verraros and that perky wee Diana DeGarmo thanks to the crack investigative team over at Entertainment Weekly.

Oh and as of this posting, it is 7 days, 4 hours, 38 minutes and 4 seconds to the Season 6 premiere. Not that I'm obsessed or anything...

An Announcement

(Spoken in my best Kellie Pickler voice)

Hey y'all! We done gone ahead and moved this here blog over to our very own domain. That's right! From now on, y'all can get yer 'Idol' fix by typing this here address into that... um... what d'ya call that thing up top? The bar where you put the addresses in? Huh. Color me stumped. Anyway, it's americanmidolblog.com. So if the two of y'all who have us bookmarked could update those... um... LINKS! Links, ha ha, y'all, I totally could not remember that word. Anyway, do that, if you'd be so inclined. Also, send any tips, hot gossip or hate mail to us at mail@americanmidolblog.com. Thank ya kindly!

News You Probably Can't Use

Not necessarily the news, but really, is there anything funnier than a Paula Abdul fug? Okay, a Britney fug, but Paula is a close second. (Go Fug Yourself)

Bucky Covington, also known in some circles as My Boyfriend, signs a deal with Lyric Street Records. Album comes out April 17, two days after my birthday. Totally planned. Thanks Bucky! Also, a sort-of-but-really interview with the man himself. His first single, "A Different World," will hit the country airwaves January 16th. ('American Idol' official site)

The 'American Idol' karaoke video game! 'Nuff said. (USA Today)

Ruben Studdard wants Alabama residents to quit being a bunch of fatasses. (The Birmingham News)

Review: Taylor Hicks' debut Taylor Hicks not all that and a bag of chips. Is anyone surprised? You know, besides the millions of retards who voted for him week after week? (Rocky Mountain News)

The Cure

No, I'm not talking about my all-time favorite band. I'm talking about hiccups. Specifically, those belonging to Kellie Pickler.


Says The Tennessean:

Kellie Pickler Loses Hockey Brawl

Country newcomer Kellie Pickler has discovered there's one competition more brutal than American Idol: pro hockey. After singing to Clemson and Kentucky fans at Legends on Friday, she attended her first hockey game Saturday and afterward joined Predators Jordin Tootoo and Scottie Upshall at the Tin Roof.

Told to do a handstand to cure her hiccups, she kicked up her red high heels over her head. A pretend hockey fight broke out and Kellie, 20, ended up at the bottom of the pile. The melee left a knot on her forehead that remains. At least she still has all of her teeth.

Google tells me that doing a handstand is, in fact, a cure for hiccups. But honestly, doesn't that seem like a lot of work when they'll probably just go away on their own? And I bet the conversation went like this:

Kellie: Y'all, I have hiccups!

My Hero: Do a handstand!

Kellie: All right!

My Hero (to friend): Dude, we're at a hockey game. I didn't think she'd really do it.

My Hero's Friend (shaking head): What a dumbass. Ouch! That's gotta hurt.

I go back and forth on whether or not I think Kellie Pickler is a genuine idiot, or an idiot solely for entertainment's sake. In this case, I'm going to go with the former.

Some other Idol-related news: Mandisa writing a book about food addiction. Read about it here.

Also, 13 Days! See the shiny new graphic that Curly made? It's over there -->

I Didn't Wait a Lifetime for a Moment Like This

I'm a little late to the game on the relatively new music the 'Idol' kids are putting out. Luckily, AOL Music has all sorts of tracks to listen to from Chris Daughtry and Katharine McPhee today. Here's what I think of them. Then, if you're as behind as I am, you can listen and decide for yourself.

Daughtry. I actually don't hate "Home," the first song. I do, however, think it sounds like every single power balled written between 1986 and 1992. But I was a fan of the power ballads. Hell, I even made a mix tape of them that I played Every. Single. Time. my high school boyfriend and I made out. I'm sure he loved that. The second song, which is his first single, "It's Not Over," bored me to tears. And then I had to stop listening. Chris Daughtry is pretty. I shouldn't find him so boring. I love little bald dudes. There's just, I don't know, something missing. Charisma? Personality? A chromosome? Hell if I know.

Now, onto McPhee. Now, I don't love her the way Curly does, and I don't hate her the way Mejack does. I'm more indifferent than anything else, although I think she has very pretty hair and I would kill to have her makeup person go at my face. I'm not really digging "Over It," which is the first single. It's a little… watered-down I guess is how I would describe it. I most definitely do not want to start shaking my ass at my desk at work. And that's a bad sign, because if you know me, you know I love to shake my ass at my desk at work. Ditto on "Each Other," and that's enough listening to crap for me this afternoon.

If I'm forcing myself to say something nice, I'll say this. Both of those songs could kick the ass of "A Moment Like This," and look at Kelly Clarkson now. Anything can happen.

Watch Chris Daughtry

Listen to Katharine McPhee

What do you think? Also, 14 Days!

The Final Countdown

Doot doot doot doot! Doot doot doot doot doot! Doot doot doot doot…

(Hm, no one remembers that song by the 80s hair band Europe? Well, okay then.)

We are officially back from our semi-hiatus to start the countdown to Idol madness. Can you stand the suspense?

15 Days!

Now, let's get to the news, shall we?

Jennifer Hudson, who y'all couldn't be bothered to vote for but will still happily climb on the bandwagon now, to be honored by the Oklahoma Film Critics, which is probably not that big of a deal. I mean, Oklahoma? I didn't even know they had films there. (Playbill)

Everything you always wanted to know about Simon Cowell. Oh wait, no. That was the Rolling Stone interview. This is just less of the same. (Extra)

The predictions are in: Idol 6 ratings are going to suck ass. In related news, Midol bloggers wonder why the hell it took them five years to come up with the idea to blog about the show. (Reality TV Magazine)

Breaking! Simon Cowell makes a buttload of money. I initially typed "buttloaf" there, which is funny. (United Press International)

Audition Videos Galore! See the freaks who came out for their chance to be on the show. (American Idol Official Site)